A comment from a Yahoo article. I thought it was pretty witty.
“11:15 AM
Free lunch, medical marijuana, and bus ride to the Convention.
Forms distributed for Food Stamp enrollment.
2:30 PM
Group Voter Registration for Undocumented Immigrants.
4:00 PM
Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
Sponsored by CNN
4:15 PM
Address on “Being the Real You”
Rachel Dolezal, former Head of the Seattle NAACP and
Caitlyn Jenner
4:30 PM
“How to Bank $200 Million as a Public Servant and Claim to be Broke”
Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM
“How to have a successful career without ever having a job, and still avoid paying taxes!”
A Seminar Moderated by Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson
5:00 PM
Medals of Freedom presentation to Army deserter Bo Berghdal and the
Baltimore Looters
5:30 PM
Invitation-only Autograph Session
Souvenir photographs of Elizabeth Warren dressed in Native American clothing with Pow Wow Chow autograph
5:45 PM
Tribute to All of the 57 States
Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi
6:00 PM
General vote on praising Baltimore rioters, and on using the terminology “Alternative Shoppers” instead of “Looters”
7:30 PM
Announcement of VP Nominee – Stacy Abrams – Popeye’s, The Varsity and Hardee’s in the White House kitchen
8:30 PM
The White House “Semantics Committee” Meeting
General vote on re-branding “Muslim Terrorism” as “Random Acts of Islamic Over-Exuberance”
9:00 PM
“Liberal Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you”
Tutorial sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times with Guest Speaker, Don Lemon
9:15 PM
Tribute Film to the Brave Freedom Fighters still incarcerated at GITMO
by Michael Moore
9:45 PM
Personal Finance Seminar – “Businesses Don’t Create Jobs”
Hosted by speaker Barack Obama and Dudechelle
10:00 PM
Group Condemnation of Bitter Gun Owners.
10:30 PM
Ceremonial “We Surrender” Waving of the White Flag
11:00 PM
Short film, “Setting Up Your Own Illegal Email Server While Serving in A Cabinet Post and How to Pretend It’s No Big Deal”
Hosted by Hillary Clinton
11:30 PM
Official Nomination of Kamala Harris
Bill Maher and Chris Matthews
12:00 Group apology for being white
Is Teddy Kennedy proposing a toast from the Chappaquiddick Bridge?”