On behalf of all the bulls and Robinhood millennial traders, I want to express my utmost gratitude for what must have been extremely hard work to convince a bunch of retards at the Fed to flood the financial markets with liquidity. You may not realize it (or maybe you do and your thinking is just way beyond ours), but socialized financial markets are a step towards great prosperity. Efficient capital allocation is some retard shit you read in some fancy textbooks. Only central powers should be allowed to dictate and allocate capital so we can get a bunch of autists bid garbage stocks like SHOP and TSLA to the moon. Those turds can literally no longer go down thanks to your God-sent intervention.
May I kindly suggest you start buying stonks immediately, though? We know it’s only matter of time you make an announcement of the sort. And we know you’re just waiting for like a 3% dip to go balls deep in this corner of the capital markets. But hear me out… if you dip your dick in it immediately, TSLA won’t ever need to get gamma ramped anymore. SHOP will go straight to $2000 in a heartbeat. So why the fuck are you waiting for the dip? Go all in my dude. We support you and your galaxy brain moves.
With much love and f*ck you.
Disclaimer: This is a guest post and it doesn’t necessarily represent the views of IWB.