Covid-19 is an AMAZING virus. Key features:

– cured influenza, measles, heart disease, cancers and most other diseases and abolished ‘death from natural causes’…

– it’s a smart virus, highly virulent in parks, gyms, churches and schools, the gym and on beaches…

– has no effect on the thousands of employees who work at Kmart, BigW, Target, Bunnings…. and especially in liquor stores…

– the virus seems to target mostly mum and dad businesses and barbershops, who always have much fewer customers walk through their doors…

– the virus also targets our food chain, since it managed to close meat packing companies, and forced farmers to discard their harvest in record time… (USA)

– construction and supermarket workers have a natural immunity, but would obviously still need to be vaccinated…

– also, police uniforms hold the cure for the virus… no social distancing, not even masks are needed, as long as you wear a police uniform…

– it doesn’t affect children, except for a few who got it… same with animals…

– also, imposing mandatory cloth masks to prevent too much oxygen to people’s brains, and spraying beaches and streets with bleach, as well as spraying chemical airborne disinfectants from airplanes over densely populated areas have been known to do miracles for people’s lungs affected by this strange virus…

– we would need millions of ventilators… unless we suddenly won’t need any ventilators…

– and we need to commandeer all private hospitals to keep them open solely for the avalanche of virus victims, and the avalanche of TikTok videos by overworked hero doctors and nurses…

– categorized as an ‘invisible enemy’, one that can never be definitively beaten and always lurking in the shadows, much like the war on terror…

– it loves New York too – a really cosmopolitan virus…

– there is a Celebrity Strain, and a highly Deadly Strain of the virus…

– even more amazing, in Sweden you can hug your grand kids, yet the UK strain forbids that…

– in India alone, the killer virus managed to lock 1.3 billion people in their homes indefinitely, after decimating 1000 of them, within just a few short months…

– every loss of life from this virus is tragic… however, pushing 150-500 million people into starvation worldwide is a necessary price to pay…

– experts have pointed out that this seasonal virus could easily be defeated by forever abolishing families, individual privacy, untraceable cash money, and all small independent farms and businesses…

– we all may have it by now, yet although asymptomatic, we can still infect people and test negative… or test positive… and our antibodies may, or may not give immunity…

– only a heavily government funded, hastily tested and mandatory vaccine can save us by injecting it in 7 billion people, every year, for a constantly mutating virus, the particular strain of which has long been history…

– also, be careful not to spread fake news or dangerous misinformation online about this virus… make sure you leave that to the professionals over at CBC, CTV, Global and the rest of the reliable mainstream media journalists around the world.

h/t Gdchappy

Disclaimer: This is a guest post and it doesn’t necessarily represent the views of IWB.