by John Ward
In a moving ceremony this morning, the Prime Minister and her wife paid tribute to those who have fallen so far in the UK’s civil war over Brexit.
Photographed laying a wreath on the grave of the Unlamented Brexiteer, Mrs May said that the fallen had given up their yesterdays and been nobly sacrificed to a globalist neoliberal tomorrow, “which is of course what all well educated and heeled Britons have striven to achieve since stupid, poor, nasty old and Nazi people commandeered our electoral system to pervert the future in the 2016 Referendum”.
Him indoors Mr May in particular said, “What a great, golden and unrepeatable future me and my mates have had taken away by all these warmongers living in the past. It beats me what drives these people who constantly hide behind imagined threats from free movement for Jihadists, EU armies which of course will never happen, sound German monetarists bashing Greeks in string vests over the head, and bloody eyeties barely able to fiddle the books”.
In particular, Mrs May paid tribute to “Lance Corporal David Davis – a victim of leak-shock by person or persons unknown who has since sadly lost his mind” – and “Colonel Boris ‘Bonker’ Johnson, whose trauma left him unable to tell letter-boxes from law abiding British females suffering from Islamophobia”.
But at the last, the PM made her resilience clear.
“Let me be clear,” she feigned, “I shall not rest until every last vestige of True British Grit has been thrown at our European colleagues in a bid to demonstrate to those who would try to change this, our British way of life, that they can happily tear our resistance to pieces, but my resolve to ensure such an outcome shall never be shaken”.
Eighteen Cabinet members later tabled a vote of No Confidence in the Government, dependent upon No Conservatives losing their seats in the inevitable election that would follow.
Lest we forget, greater love hath no legislator than to lay down our international credibility for his life.