THIS WILL END WELL: Howie Carr: Only the woke need apply to be Boston’s top cop.

Do you have the right stuff to become Boston’s next police commissioner?

Step one: Pick up the phone and dial area code 202.

That’s Washington, of course. But then you weren’t seriously expecting that anyone from area code 617 was going to be involved in anything … Boston, now were you?

Mayor Michelle Wu, originally from the 312 area code (Chicago), has farmed out the nationwide search for a new PC police commissioner to what appears to be a Washington think tank.

According to the city (of Boston, not Washington or Chicago or San Francisco, where the mayor’s new chief of staff came from), here is what the BPD requires of its next commissioner:

“The passion, skills, and cultural competencies to serve as a ‘bridge-builder.’”

Personally, I think most Bostonians might prefer a “crime stopper” to a “bridge builder.”

“A leader who brings an enthusiasm to meeting this moment to reimagine policing.”

How about reimagining … safe streets? Or the arrests of criminals? How about reimagining … Downtown Crossing without roving bands of teenaged girls assaulting and calling a 20-year-old woman a “white (bleep) with braids”?

How about reimagining a Chinatown where law-abiding Asians aren’t randomly stabbed?

“A willingness to actively center the safety and well-being of LGBTQ+ residents of Boston.”

How about a willingness to protect all citizens — even people who were born here, speak English and aren’t on welfare?

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