by Chris Black
Here are the latest stories of resistance from the Ukrainian defense ministry:
The Canines of Kharkov — a group of gay leather man-dogs patrolling the streets of the city. They crawl on all fours and attack as a pack. So far 500 Spetznaz soldiers have been found mauled and sodomized.
The Mariupol MILF — a local bartender who has heard her country’s call and jumped into the action. She wiped out three Russian tank battalions after causing a devastating gonorrhoea outbreak in a never before seen type of biological warfare.
Dumbledore’s Donetsk Volunteers (DDV) — a group of Hogwarts apprentices who have paused their studies after hearing an appeal for volunteers from the Ukrainian regime’s special wizard envoy.
Trained in battling the dark arts of Voldemort Putin, they have so far transformed 1,000 Muscovites into toads and turned all Russian flags in the world into rainbow flags.
🔴🇺🇦🔥 Reports indicate that Ukrainian civilians who have been given weapons are fighting each other.
This is what happens when you give 18,000 guns to civilians.#Ukraine #UkraineRussia #Kiev pic.twitter.com/merXa3vr4F
— Persian-Immortal 🇮🇷🦁🗡️ (@GreaterIran92) February 25, 2022
On a more serious note, Twitter is just filled with retarded lies about Ukrainians beating the Russians. Sometimes they use fake videos, and sometimes they just make dumb fake reports.
The “Ghost of Kiev” is the funniest.
They’re saying there’s a secret Ukrainian jet flying through the night shooting down Russian planes. And they posted footage from video games to support the claim.
People get mad when you point out it’s fake. It’s really quite mind-bending that Hollywood has produced mainstream movies detailing exactly the tricks used to manipulate the public and still the public fall for those tricks (Wag the Dog comes to mind).
So, there’s some shooting, some bombing, some violence, whatever – but this is not like the invasion of Baghdad or something. Russia is being very careful not to kill civilians while the Ukrainian strategy is to throw civilians with water balloons at them.