Wall Street is firmly in wonderland


LONDON (Reuters Breakingviews) – Alice was tired of studying for the CFA exams, the figures in the spreadsheet were blurry, she laid her head on the desk…

Her first day at Tweedle Asset Management was going to be a busy one. She was escorted around the offices by a young staffer named Otto. Their first visit was to the bond team. Fixed income was Alice’s keenest interest.

“Do you hold bonds for income?” she eagerly asked. Everyone laughed. “Are you dreaming?” the desk head replied rudely. “The coupon is subtracted from the principal, not paid out. If it’s income you want, you should take out a Danish mortgage, they pay very well. Or sell short Swissies.”

“But why own a bond, if it doesn’t pay interest?” replied Alice, who’d read her Homer and Sylla assiduously.


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