U.S.—After President Trump once again called attention to Democrats’ support for the violent execution of both unborn and newborn babies, Democrats apologized and promised to do a better job of hiding their support for infanticide in the future.
Democrats phoned up various mainstream media outlets and made sure that they called Trump’s comments untruthful to provide some cover for their pro-infanticide position while they regrouped. Several leaders on the left realized that they needed to be more circumspect about their public support for killing born babies for the foreseeable future.
“When President Trump started riling up the crowd by accurately pointing out that we believe newborn babies can be executed, it didn’t feel good,” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said. “I heard him listing off the things we believe one by one, and I was like, ‘Whoa, that’s pretty radical.’ So it was a good time for me to stop and take stock of how far left we are moving on abortion.”
“And that’s when I had a ‘Come to Obama’ moment and realized that we need to just pretend not to want to kill born babies for a while,” she said. “We’ll stay under the radar for a while until it’s a little more socially acceptable.”
“If you guys could just stop quoting our actual beliefs on infanticide and posting actual videos of us saying horrible things about killing babies in the meantime, that’d be great,” she added.