This is not from The Onion.
From MyFoxChicago: Criminal activity has been officially canceled in one suburban Chicago town due to the extreme heat that’s cooking most of the country.
“It is just too hot to be outside committing crimes,” the Park Forest Police Department said on Facebook Friday. “We’re asking all aspiring criminals, seasoned veterans, and those who find themselves committing crimes out of boredom, to please stay indoors.”
The department proposed that Friday would be a perfect day “to Netflix and chill, literally, with the air conditioner set to 68 degrees.”
At the same time, a Massachusetts police department implemented a similar heat wave-related crime-fighting strategy.
The Braintree Police Department took to Facebook Friday night to ask anyone thinking of conducting criminal activity “to hold off until Monday.”
“It is straight hot as soccer balls out there,” the department said before suggesting that potential criminals stay home and binge-watch season 3 of “Stranger Things” instead, according to Masslive.com.“We will meet again when its cooler,” the department said.
In a follow-up post late Friday, Park Forest PD said that one of its officers, Justin Malachowski, was appreciative of everyone who canceled their planned crimes and stayed indoors. “Because of you, he got to enjoy a cold and delicious afternoon Slurpee from 7-Eleven without interruption,” the department said.
The entire Chicago area was under an excessive heat warning Friday and Saturday as heat index values could rise as high as 115 degrees in some places.
Windy City temps hit the 99-degree mark Friday. On Saturday the Park Forest Police was still advising would-be wrongdoers to stay indoors.
“The crime cancellation is still in effect until tomorrow, so please no ‘criminaling,’” the department said.