Putin Just Obliterated The American Dream In One Swift and Decisive Move

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by Chris Black

The Russian government announced it will legalize patent theft and re-open Russian McDonalds under local ownership.

Reports of suicides in America skyrocketed shortly after zogbots realized they are no longer in control of McDonalds, and some analysts say this will push the US government to initiate a nuclear first strike.

Seriously speaking, you can’t make this shit up.

It’s over, man.

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